’ ‘What? You don’t mean…?’ ‘Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. Since that day I’ve known that I wanted you for more than a friend, to be mine only. To share everything with you.’ ‘But why…?’ ‘Why didn’t I say anything? Because you were in love with somebody else.’ ‘But twelve years?’ ‘Julie, having you as a friend is better than not having you at all, even if every time I see you with another guy is torture. After that night of the drunken kiss, I was afraid that if I told you how I felt, you’d stop being my friend.’ ‘I wouldn’t do that.’ ‘Are you sure? What if I got up and left right now? Would you call? Would you invite me over and get me drunk so that I can forget my one true love? Try to get me interested in one of your friends? Or would you shut me out, afraid of the feelings I have for you?’ ‘Andrew, I…this is all so sudden.’ ‘I’m sorry.’ He stood up, preparing to leave. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything. I love you, Julie.’ He leaned over and kissed me softly on the forehead, then. There I could still smell her perfume and the scent of her body while I humped a pillow and sniffed her panties imagining it was her; it was almost inevitable that I would get caught.When I did these unspeakable acts on her bed, I became more brazen and less circumspect. I would forget to straighten the bedclothes properly or I’d leave an intimate item behind, and sometimes, because I was so excited, my emissions would stain the bed covers.And of course one day she came home early and found me taking my pleasure on her bed, clad in her pantyhose and panties, humping her pillow.“You fucking degenerate freak!” she screamed at me.Her temper was unbridled and although I was a lithe eighteen-year-old boy, her anger and vehemence gave her the energy to overpower me. She dragged me to the edge of the bed and wielded me into her lap.“You wanna behave like a fucking naughty schoolboy then I’ll treat you like one!” she shrieked and bought her palm down on my buttocks.Mother proceeded to pull.
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